14 May 2009

Pamela Twining: The Cave

return to light
eyes blinded after darkness
impenetrable
it’s just too much all at once
greedy pupils expand/contract
will the images fade
like photographs
overexposed?

return to light
return to water after starvation/
thirst
troglodyte climbing
climbing from the bowels of the earth
the eyes have not gone useless
yet

electric blue gaze of heaven
paralyzing
teach me again
to behold the universe

5 comments:

  1. Very cool - unexpected, and very cool. The last two lines (teach me again to behold the universe) are my favorite.

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  2. I like the urgency in this piece. I can feel the desperation to regain those senses.

    The word troglodyte made me stop because I don't know what it is, but everything else flows well.

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  3. Interesting. I liked the emerging from darkness take on the theme, but the second stanza tripped me up. The repetition of return and climbing didn't seem to fit for me. They feel unnecessary.

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  4. I like this. Kind of creepy, perhaps because of the use troglodyte.

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  5. I don't feel qualified to comment on poetry because I've done so little of it myself, but I like the theme of this piece and the way you crafted the lines. It gave the piece a desperation that seemed appropriate. Good job.

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