I listen to "The Fool on the Hill"
To forget that I am the loser in the duplex
scrubbing enchilada crumbs
out of the corners of the pan
my hands wrinkling with the effort
getting younger is not in the cards
at this point illusions swirl
down the drain white with flour tortilla
salsa sunspots dancing in the light
cast by a tired afternoon reflection.
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I liked this, though I would have enjoyed it if there had been more content.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to this, both personally and through my family here. Great descriptions. I especially like "illusions swirl down the drain white with flour tortilla".
ReplyDeleteNice imagery! I especially liked "salsa sunspots dancing in the light". Also, the flattened feeling of "getting younger is not in the cards" is augmented by the "tired afternoon reflection". This is an effective poem, but I hope you're feeling better now. Catharsis?
ReplyDeleteI must say that you have delivered SO MUCH information in such a short space. Granted.. much of it is implied.. but that is fine. Somehow, you tap into characters I've known and bring them to mind. A little old Hispanic woman... working her fingers to the bone. Living in a duplex implies low income (at least where I live it does), and to be the loser in the duplex enhances that idea even more. Loved it! Wish there was even more of it to love.
ReplyDeleteWow. The 'Fool on the Hill' meme again. Great minds think alike, I think...:). This is a very short entry, but full of story nonetheless. Excellent job.
ReplyDeleteThis is painful, but I love it. I want to hug the speaker and tell them it will all be okay and your making me care that much means you've done your job as a poet.
ReplyDeleteThe details are fitting and their specificity add to the poignancy of the piece. The last two lines? Stunning. I love them.
I am honored to have you among us, Helen. We are better for your presence.
The imagery is so vivid in this short piece - wow - I think it might take a record for best depth of character in the fewest words.
ReplyDeleteExcellent!